Finding Happiness

It is often said that in the hustle of life, we forget to live. Do you thing that statement holds good in your life?

Well, I think it does. I have seen people who wish or desire to do something different of what they are doing presently. Those people know that they are not doing what they want to but they still prefer to stick to their usual activities. May be it is not possible for them to do what they desire to, may be they don't have the courage to move forward towards their dreams. It is something we all have experienced at some point or the other in our life.

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What I feel is, it is utmost important that whatever work we are doing, whether we desire to do it or not, we should keep filling it up with portions of happiness. There are voids in our works in which we have the option of filling them up with smiles and happiness. It is crucial we don't forget to be happy whatever the situation we are facing.

Happiness is something which will help us in keeping good levels of  excitement even when the situations are not working in our way, even when the world is falling smiling will trigger a sense of hope for something better to happen. 

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It is also important that we spread happiness wherever we go, wherever we work, whomsoever we are dealing with, happiness should be something that is reflected in the work that we do.

There can be a lot of things that makes one happy, it might be different for different individuals yet the output it will bring out will more or less be same. The source of happiness can be different, for example some people might feel happy by singing, some by playing their favorite sport, some by dancing, some by talking to their best friends or some by writing. If one knows there is this particular thing that makes them happy, then why not incorporate those things whenever we find the time in our busy life. The hectic schedule of the life will continue till you are breathing your last breath so do fill the voids of your life with happiness.

Cheers.

Everyone Follows Their Own Timelines

Hello readers,
Each one of us at some point in our life comes across a situation where we are shown or made to feel how well people similar to our age, qualification have achieved, while we haven't achieved much compared to them.

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We are often compared to our friends, siblings and also our parents (when they were of our age). We are made to feel how insignificant our efforts have been up till now. We are made to feel that we are lacking behind someone.

To all of the people who feel such things or make others feel such things, here is something really cool-

• J.K. Rowling was 32 years when she finally got a publisher for Harry Potter, after being rejected from 12 publishers.
• Morgan Freeman took major strides when he was 52.
• Jack Ma started Alibaba when he was 35.
• Richard Branson started Virgin when he was 34.
• Lionel Messi used to serve tea at shop to support his football training.
• Albert Einstein the greatest minds of all times couldn't speak till he was 4 years, and couldn't read till he was 7.
• Colonel Sanders started KFC at the age of 65.
• Sachin Tendulkar couldn't clear his 8th class examinations.
• Michael Jordan was rejected from his school basketball team. 

Countesy: wikipedia

I always believe that everyone here has his/her timeline which he/she should follow and should not peep into others timelines. We should believe in ourselves and should keep putting in efforts without comparing it to the efforts or results of others.

Keep inspiring. Keep smiling. Cheers.

Psychology Update : Narcissism and Egocentrism

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Written by : Aditi Saini

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‘I know the best’ and ‘it’s all about me’, suggests Narcissism.

Extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type, is what is known as Narcissism, in psychological terms.

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A narcissist will be wrapped with high levels of self-esteem, grandiosity, self-focus, and self-importance. They think they are more physically attractive and intelligent than just about everyone, and would rather be admired than liked. They are enraged when told they aren’t beautiful or brilliant but aren’t affected much if told they are jerks. Also, if narcissists were just jerks, they would be easy to avoid. The fact that they are entertaining, as well as aggressive and manipulative makes them compelling in the real world and as subjects of psychological scrutiny. Narcissism attain peak in adolescence and start decreasing gradually. 

Psychologist Fredrick Stinson and his colleagues conducted face-to-face interviews with 34,653 adults and found that men are more narcissistic than women across the lifespan.

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There is no denying the fact; we all have got narcissism within. Self confidence, self respect, self sufficiency are the traits of narcissism that embellish our personality. But when this narcissism starts striding limits, it then becomes a disorder. Narcissists crave for a marked need of attention and try of adapt every possible way, to please the other sex. They are being subjugated by over confidence that hits them hard, too hard to stand again many a times. Ego gulps their mind and they hate being said, ‘no’.

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Commonly, egocentrism is adhered with narcissism. Egocentrism is the inability to understand or assume any perspective other than theirs. But there exists a difference between both the terms. For a narcissist, his/her ego is greatly influenced by the approval of other people, while for an egocentric; this may or may not be true. Like narcissism, egocentrism also domicile within every individual up to some extent, and start being a danger, when it crosses the limit. One of the most negative impacts of egocentrism is isolation from the good and loved ones. Very often, an egocentric is dominating and consider him the mightiest and worthiest irrespective of the person he might be comparing with. This often leads to plague the good relations, understanding, and hurting others person’s self respect.

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Narcissism and egocentrism may lead to depression and stress. For if the thirst for self attention and domination is not quenched, the person starts overthinking and takes too much stress. These are not negative habit, simply, these are not habits. They come under psychological disorder and can be cured. 

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But one needs to understand that this is a problem and needs healing. Meditation is one of the best solutions. It helps to recognize the best part of one’s soul and cleans mind and shoo away the stress, anxiety, ego, dirty thoughts. Being loving, kind and helpful is the way of living a ‘divine life’

A happy and satisfied life is possible. Just kill that narcissism.

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Psychology Update : The Abreaction Therapy

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Written by : Radhika Bhattacharyya

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Abreaction is a psychoanalytical term which refers to vividly imagining or reliving a painful memory from the past, usually in order to purge or cleanse the strong negative feelings associated with it.

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For example, a brave soldier who has fought several years for his country and has lost one of his limbs in a war; even after treatment by the best doctors in the country, his lost limbs have left him permanently disabled. He might end up being a bitter and depressed man recollecting his days in the army where everyone revered and saluted him versus now when wherever he would go people would look at him with a sense of pity or revulsion. He might feel an increasing desire of ending his life rather than living on pity of others. 

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Abreaction Therapy is used when a person is in need of a spiritual or emotional  succour after a breakdown. It is only used for people severely affected by hardships or trauma in life to such an extent that it affects their feelings of trust, affection, self esteem and in general, relations with others. They may end up engaging in activities which are detrimental to their health and state of well being.

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By leading the client through the event; the feelings of fear, rejection or guilt are released that have been for long preserved in the vestiges of the clients' memory. As a process that brings out difficult emotions, the client will go through an emotional upheaval that will slowly and steadily provide a release from the burden of the traumatic event. After the treatment, the client gains a new clarity and understanding of the event and should be able to talk about the event without any feelings of discomfort.

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For instance , a rape survivor who is haunted by traumatic reminiscences, may follow an illogical thought process whereby she irrationally assumes herself to be somehow guilty of herself bringing about the horrendous situation she was in , for instance, by reason of her dress code.

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But after the abreaction therapy, there would be a proper clarity in her thinking, and the illogical, self defeating feelings of guilt and remorse are swept aside. She would then come to the proper conclusion that no matter her circumstance, the rapists are the ones entirely to be blamed.

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Psychology Update: The Mirroring

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Written by : Shreya Jain

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Mirroring, is a phenomenon wherein people mimic another person’s gestures, actions, postures or words, in a social setting. It is a form of non-verbal behavior, and most of the times, it takes place subconsciously. Mirroring is a way of showing trust, empathy, and a way of bonding and staying in tune with the others.

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Mirroring is quite a common phenomenon. It is the elemental nature of human beings. Couples walking in perfect synchronization, pointing fingers at each other in a conversation, thinking while scratching your head, sitting cross legged if the one beside you in a meeting sits so or smiling and laughing when the others in a group do; are all everyday instances of mirroring.  Even in politics, we see how Presidents of different countries mirror each other to ascertain trust and harmony. The way a person behaves non-verbally, through his postures, gestures, hand movements, tells a lot about his personality and the way he thinks.

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We all mirror our fellow mates, colleagues, bosses or partners, just that we are oblivious to the fact that we’re doing so. Mirror neurons, a set of nerve cells in the brain, are responsible for mirroring. Activation of these, leads a person to subconsciously mimic the other to allow a greater level of connection between them. The earliest form of mirroring can be seen in an infant-parent relationship. Parents are found imitating their children’s voice, way of speaking and expressions as a way of validating the child’s emotions. This helps the child bond well with the parents. Infants too, mimic their parents’ body languages, words, and actions to be able to connect with them.

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People mirror each other to show that they are on the same page or wavelength and in sync with one another. It helps establish rapport and trust between them. Mirroring also shows that a person is willing to understand the other, empathizes with them or feels connected to them. It is a way of portraying harmony and comfort in another’s company.

Mirroring is also a technique of survival. Usually, in offices, the employees mirror their subordinates or the leaders to stay attuned to them. They all follow unspoken codes of conduct and formal dress codes as a way of fitting in. Be it bridesmaids adorning the same outfits, bikers wearing similar clothes in rallies or crowds jumping and applauding at concerts, they’re all a way of mirroring each other to have a sense of security and belonging towards the group. It has been a way of survival.

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In all, it is a great way of establishing a good relationship with someone, as the one being mirrored feels that he is being reflected in someone else. The fact that someone feels, thinks and acts the way you do, is enough to form a good bond with them and automatically connect with them.  

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Psychology Update : The Double Bind

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Written by : Aakriti Agrawal

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Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. The line perfectly explains the psychological theory called Double Bind. It is a situation in which you feel like whatever you decide, you will be wrong. It is something which most of us have experienced at least once in our lives. It is basically a no-win situation. 

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Examples of such situations can be when a student wants to go abroad to expand his or her learning opportunities but, at the same time they do not want to leave their family and friends behind and move to a completely unknown country. This is an example of a no-win situation because whichever path they decide to go on, they will lose something or the other. Another example can be when a person wants to lose weight but, can not leave fattening products.

Gregory Bateson and his colleagues believed that the double bind or no-win situation was a contributing factor in schizophrenia. It is a disorder that affects a person’s ability to think, feel and behave clearly. They proposed that contradictions in the interaction between family members predisposes it’s members to schizophrenia. But, later on the theory was discarded for the lack of convincing support. 

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People have now come up with many ways to deal with a double bind situation. Such a situation can make you feel angry, helpless, trapped or even depressed. So, one of the first steps to deal with a situation like this is to take a few steps back and analyze the problem. You can talk to a close friend or even write it down step by step. In either of these cases you tend to find a loophole in the situation which can take you out of it. If you can’t then think of other ways to deal with it like believe in yourself that you can come up with a better solution and walk away, take help from others or from sites that deal in such problems, choose situation that makes you feel better and benefits you the most.

In the end, just believe that no situation is permanent and every problem has some or the other solution to it. Everything gets sorted at the end of the day and you can be happy again.

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How Mother Teresa Inspired Us

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Written by : Shreya Jain

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History has seen many significant figures that have made lasting efforts and contributions to make this world a better place to live in. Mahatma Gandhi’s leadership qualities and philosophies, Helen Keller’s undying spirit, Nelson Mandela’s incessant efforts towards justice and freedom, Jesus Christ’s message of love and forgiveness, Albert Einstein’s ‘never give up’ attitude, continue to be an inspiration to people worldwide even today. One such beautiful soul is Mother Teresa, an embodiment of love, care and selfless devotion. A woman, whose contributions to the society cannot be compared.

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Mother Teresa, whose birth name was Agnes Gnoxha, was raised in a Catholic household in Skopje. From an early age, she began to feed and help those in need. She believed that God had called upon her, asking her to dedicate her life to the betterment of others. 

She had utmost faith in God, and all determined to spread positivity, she began her missionary work in India. She learnt nursing; how to deliver babies, giving injections, medicinal doses. She lived amongst the poor and lived a life resembling theirs. She made tireless efforts to enrich their lives. 

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Mother Teresa came as a ray of hope in the lives of thousands of people.  Her selfless acts of serving people also influenced many others, who joined her in her journey. Mother Teresa successfully developed a community of around 4000 sisters, who helped her in establishing charity centers, orphanages, and hospitals and in serving the homeless, the blind, the refugees, the aged, the poor, the disabled and the victims of natural calamities. 

She was devoted to living a life for others. Mother Teresa did everything with a great smile on her face, and always remained young at heart. She felt utmost satisfaction and joy in the art of giving. Mother Teresa’s dedication, love and compassion continue to inspire people even today.

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‘I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.’ - Mother Teresa

It’s the little things that make all the difference. Be it spending time at old age homes, volunteering activities, feeding the hungry or not wasting food, smiling at people, we all have the power to make a big difference, in our own little ways.  So let’s continue getting inspired, spreading smiles and being happy!  

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